i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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