the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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