Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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