We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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