(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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