If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize