My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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