That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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