I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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