On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize