I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize