did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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