I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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