I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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