The maid of honor just puked.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize