He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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