Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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