I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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