I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize