Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

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  (717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills. http://tfl.nu/kjxm
  Replies (9) Good night (1503) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

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  (813): My mind said no, but my drink said yes. http://tfl.nu/mirc
  Replies (2) Good night (2178) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
  Replies (50) Good night (560) Bad night (4559)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.

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  (314): Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though. http://tfl.nu/zzah
  Replies (18) Good night (6157) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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  (978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp
  Replies (64) Good night (6370) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

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  (914): Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine. http://tfl.nu/4xx7
  Replies (8) Good night (608) Bad night (6709) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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  (925): I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me http://tfl.nu/miwp
  Replies (26) Good night (5993) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  it happened again.

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  (973): remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels? (973): it happened again. http://tfl.nu/jmjg
  Replies (8) Good night (5974) Bad night (751)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

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  (403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0
  Replies (10) Good night (4675) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9552) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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  (608): you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?" http://tfl.nu/0sa8
  Replies (19) Good night (10546) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."

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  (269): Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer." http://tfl.nu/35qp
  Replies (4) Good night (2303) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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  (406): just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution http://tfl.nu/z6cd
  Replies (10) Good night (1089) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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  (785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1469) Bad night (433)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls

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  (814): iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls http://tfl.nu/7ylt
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt

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