as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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