I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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