After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize