You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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