Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize