Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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