She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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