i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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