I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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