He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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