if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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