masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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