It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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