My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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