i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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