last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize