in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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