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He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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