bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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