Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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