youre lurking in front of me
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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