too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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