dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize