I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize