Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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