My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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