You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize