I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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