i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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