I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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